Each year I am shocked at how much I have learned or grown and at how immature I also am (let’s be honest though…I’ll always be a child, ha). Each year I’m learning the things that really matter to me in life. The things that I would give up anything for or work my hardest for. I’ve also learned that things that I’m really OK with letting go.
This last year has already taught me so much about myself and about where I want to go in life or who I want to go there with.
Most importantly it’s taught me how much I really truly appreciate those 3 in that header image. How I would lay my life on the line for those 3. They are some of the most special, crazy, hilarious people I’ve ever had the luxury of being around. Call me biased, fine! I’ll be honest, I don’t think I ever realized how much these people are here for me. How much they love me no matter what life throws at them.
Yeah this is another post about how damn much I’m amazed by this little family. You’ve gotta realize, I never thought I would get married. Let alone have kids. So every single day is something new, something unexpected for me.
Just yesterday our first day back to the grind of school and work. O could tell it was going to be a hard one for everyone. As we were already running late to get out the door she came to me with a piece of blue construction paper that had been folded in half to make a small card. She politely asked for me to help her spell some words for this letter that is going to someone secret. See I figured it was meant for their teacher that was leaving. So, I helped her spell the words: “Dear____, I will miss you very much.” Then continued to get us all ready and out the door. As I’m dropping them off at the school and kissing them goodbye and telling them that I’ll miss them today, her eyes go wide as she realizes she had left her card at home.
She was visibly upset as she explained it was for me. That she tricked me and told me it was a secret for someone else but it was really for me. For me to take to “School” (They still think I’m in school), and look at anytime I miss them and can think of her.
To some of you this may seem silly and mundane or what have you. But, through a year of enormous changes it was the most heart warming thing to see that she was looking out for me in ways I would never expect her to. That she wasn’t upset that we may not get to play as much as we used to, but that she understands I miss them every single day that I’m away from them.
See this last year with me working, we didn’t do a lot of the things we used to. We didn’t camp as much. We didn’t go ride dirt bikes. We didn’t go on backpacks. We didn’t go on hikes. We didn’t play outside in the summer every day. We didn’t do so many things that looking back now makes me so sad.
But that’s what I’ve learned. I’ve learned that no matter how tired or busy we may feel with both of us working. We NEED to continue to do those things we used to. Those things are something that they will always remember and will always hold close to their heart and ours. Things that took us away from the bump and grind and brought us back to everything we love about being on this crazy scary planet we call home.
Getting to see them grow into loving little gremlins has been one of the best gifts I could have ever gotten.
We were thinking back to the Christmas’ before and how we were so worried they wouldn’t appreciate the gifts they were given or the joy of giving to each other. I remember directly them saying one year after each gift “What else?”, “I want more”, “I didn’t ask for this”. But this year they blew us away with how excited and eager they were to give gifts to family and to be involved in it all. They spent time sorting through they old things piling them up to give to kids they said “need more than they do”. They spent time learning to wrap gifts, and make food, and thank everyone who gave them something new. They spent hours enjoying the things they were given and didn’t take any of it for granted.
Will it change, maybe, probably. But for the time being I’m savoring every sweet moment of it.
We have a lot of new things happening in this new year and a lot of things we have been working hard for.
So instead of making crazy new years resolution we’ve decided we are just going to try and be, us. Be who we were. Who we are but were too lazy/afraid to be last year.
